I am tired.. And when I get overly tired I get overly emotional, and tonight is just one of those nights. Do you ever have a moment where you think to yourself "If I just had a big fat cry session, I would feel better" and then for some reason, no matter how hard you try, no matter how many sad and depressing things that you conjure up in your head YOU CAN'T shed one single tear! So maybe you never actually sit there and purposely think of really sad things, but at least I'm being real in my dilemma...
As I sit here, trying to cry- thinking of something worthy of your attention to blog about I can't help but to reflect upon the words in the song that is now playing for the umm, I'm pretty sure the 6th time now..
Third line into the song it says-
Sometimes I'd like to hide away, somewhere and lock the door
Before we moved here, I had a walk in closet. And when I was having a "sometimes" moment I would go into the closet, using my only worn once bridesmaid dresses to "hide" behind.. It was really the perfect spot. Dale and the kids would come looking for me, open the closet door, flick on the light and I would go unnoticed and able to continue in my pity party, table for 1 please..
That line got me thinking about how no matter how hard we try, no matter how big our closet, how long our bridesmaid dress or strong of a lock we may have, we can never, ever hide from our Heavenly Father. He knows our heart.
And all those moments where I thought I was hiding from my circumstances, I have come to realize are missed moments... Because really I wasn't hiding anything, I was growing closer to God by being completely transparent with Him. I would cry out to Him, Yell at Him, or just simply "Be Still" and you know, I may have walked out of that closet with my eyes a little puffier, and my head hanging a little lower, but I was able to let it all out. I laid it all at my Messiah's feet.
We have been here almost a full year and I still have yet to find my hiding spot, but I now realize the importance of having a spot. So my question to you is-
"Where is it that you cry out- Bring on the rain?"
(remember to pause the music @ the bottom of my page before viewing)