Thursday, December 18, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
is what I desperately am..
Not for Water.. Not for Wine..
But for a deeper relationship with Christ.
Ever since returning from our LONG and unexpected trip to California/Arizona I have had quite a few moments in my days/weeks in being home and re-settled- where I have felt so very spiritually dehydrated. Warn Down. Hopeless. So easily tempted and consumed by Satan's lies... I am utterly amazed how quickly I can allow Satan to take up residence in my mind- reeking havoc on my thoughts, my actions and my outlook on life.
A dear friend recommended a book to me a couple weeks ago called Thirsty. I ordered it from Amazon and have been reading in it the past couple nights. The author (Amy Nappa) takes "The Woman at the well"- a story I have read over and over again and she turns it into something so much deeper than an outcast, sinful samaritan woman needing living water. In reading this book I am realizing (again)that-
I have been longing to meet Jesus more deeply..
that God waits for me in the most unexpected places of my life..
God knows me better than I know myself..
God goes out of his way to wait for me to meet him and to enjoy him..
God cherished me, the one for whom he waits.
and that I have the choice to meet him-
no matter where I am in "my" personal agenda- He waits..
With that I will leave you with this-
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Looking at that old classic picture I drifted back to when things seemed simpler and slower. When Family Traditions where acted out each and every year and not just talked about.. When the joy that filled the air was based more on what people felt for each other instead of the- getting or receiving of things!
....... Moments instead of the Things .......
For the last couple years now Dale and I have been trying very hard to take the mindset of Santa, Santa, Santa and re-focus the boys on the true meaning of why we celebrate Christmas.
"Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign; Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel." Isaiah 7:14
The pressure to buy, buy, buy is insane.
And in all the rushing and wrapping I admit there has been a time or two where I have lost sight of why we even have such a holiday to celebrate in the first place. My hope is that one day Dale and I can take the boys on a Mission trip for Christmas and show them how we can be blessed by serving others without getting material things in return.
Until then we will have a little fun, get into the holiday spirit a bit..
And build some of our own very special Family Traditions.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Can you tell how excited I am?
Wait, what do you mean, I'm staying and Your going?
I thought we were BOTH going to Preschool!
Fine then, Go! Leave me here in this strange and foreign land...
-but your coming back soon to get me right?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
more than your bucket can hold, you sometimes just have to set the bucket down and find yourself a nice TALL glass of red wine and know that the lemons will still be waiting there for you in the morning.
Oh Yes, today has been one of those days. You know- a day where one thing after another happens and if you had known what all would have transpired you would have just stayed in bed kinda days.. Hind sight is what again?
So are you ready for an instant replay of my day?
Woke up feelings great. Cooked my husband a nice breakfast before he left for a 3 day (just in case the helio ever crashes- let's see if you can hack it in the Kodiak Mountains with nothing but the clothes on your back, a cup of dry beans and various other non-food items that can fit into a 1/2 gallon ziplock baggie) survival training camp. *Please pray for His safety*
After I sent him on his way (to commit SUICIDE, I mean to train) I was able to read in my bible, journal and even have a quiet time of prayer before the boys got up. After having breakfast with the boys, and doing our daily devotional, Ian helped me open up the blinds. That's when I noticed that the weather had gone from windy and wet to as Ian said- "wintery."
After a few hours of homeschooling, the boys asked if they could go out and play in the sideways blowing snow with the neighbor kids. As they dressed for their expedition, our sweet, ohhh so comical, 1 year old little girl escaped the house. I, of course still in my pajamas, threw on a coat and my boots and go to retrieve her.
10 minutes later..
Still no dog, and I can no longer feel my fingers.
20 minutes later..
I recruit the neighbor kids, along with Caleb to coax Kona close enough to grab her collar.
30 minutes later..
Kona has stolen a pink mitten right off of my neighbors hand and has bolted for a near by field to frolic with her new toy..
45 minutes later..
With the help of a pink mitten, my neighbor Emily (thank you again for freezing your butt off trying to capture my NEUROTIC dog) and Caleb, Our sweet (eww girl your lucky I am a Christian) dog is on a leash and heading for home.
Just as we were almost back to the house, Emily's husband drove up and asked what we were doing. Emily explains that SATAN, I mean Kona had gotten out and that we had just conquered the game of "Come and get me, ah ha too slow".
Her husband smiles and tries to pull forward and realizes he is stuck. I hand the dog off to Caleb, giving him explicit instructions to BANISH the hound to the kennel. Emily and I try to push her husbands truck out from the snow bank. His tires spin, and just sink him further into a rut.
Did I mention I am still in my pajamas?
So I run and get our 4 Runner and successfully pull him out. I finally get back into the house and realize that I am missing a kid. It's Caleb! I call out for him in the house, down in the basement, just outside the back door, the front door. I knock on Emily's door and ask if he is there. Still no Caleb.
10 minutes later..
I venture back out into the cold and start walking towards the playground calling out for him. I hear a faint "Yeah, Mom" in the distance. Through the snow flurries I see him walking towards me with a shovel in his hand. I franticly ask, Where were you? Didn't you hear me calling your name? What were you doing down there?
"Ohh, I wanted to build a Fort.."
HELLO!!!! There is a BLIZZARD WARNING IN EFFECT! WINDS ARE 50+mph, and most importantly "YOU DIDN'T ASK!"
After getting back inside, taking a shower to thaw out, cooking and having dinner, and doing the dishes, I decide to do what I had planned to do this morning and I make Banana Nut Muffins. As I pull them out of the oven, the tin bends and my pot holder slips....
and this my friends is when you have the choice:
A: Make Lemonade
B: Have a glass of wine
it's too cold for lemonade..
Thank You Lord-
that I was able to catch Kona...
that I was able to pull our neighbor out of the snow...
that I was able to find Caleb...
that I had the ingredients to make the mess that I did...
that your word says it's ok to have a glass of wine here and there.
that I have so much to be thankful for, even in the midst of all the chaos...
Please remember to keep Dale in your thoughts and prayers the next couple of days. That he is able to stay warm and safe. And that he returns safely to us on Friday.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Dale's "Grams" passed away on Tuesday night at the youthful age of 96. She was an inspiring, feisty, card playin', old fashion, loving, beautiful woman who touched more lives than you or I could ever imagine. Dale, Myself and the boys will be flying home this coming Sunday to show our respect for such a great life lived. As the family plans all the details that come along with the passing of a loved one, please just lift them in your prayers that everything will go smoothly and that her friends and family are able to celebrate all the ways that she touched each of their lives. "Grams" knew the Lord and Dale and I both take comfort in seeing her again.
Today I was reminded by my husband that the sky is indeed still in tact and that there are no pieces starting to fall. Whew! Talk about a much needed reality check. As many of you know, there has been a lot going on the past couple months. Like- adjusting to life on a big WET rock, ordering homeschooling curriculum (and actually start to use it), prepare myself mentally and physically for Dale to deploy for 2 months, not to mention the slew of doctors appointments thrown in here and there for all my "girl" problems. Ahhh! So what's a girl to do with all this on her plate, you ask? Plan- plan it all out as specific and rigid as possible, leaving NO ROOM FOR ERROR! Because that is just what a TYPE A personality does, you see. They plan and prepare and plan to plan for the plan. Do you get all those plans? Well I had my perfect little plan all planned out of course, and memorized to boot.. (yes, I know- I need help) But you see today is the breaking point.. Today is the day that I realized that I need help (thank you, honey)... Today, I realized that I can no longer function on a healthy, stress less level by neurotically PLANNING!!! Life is too dang bumpy. Life is too dang unpredictable. Life is day to day.. Do I know this- OF COURSE I DO! Do I put this into PRACTICE- well just read above one more time and count the word PLAN and get back to me on that question.. :)
So after my husband gently rebuked me on my stronghold- I went to see what scripture had to say about my planning issues.. And I thought I would share with you some of what I read that really got my attention. (The scripture(s) in Matthew I should know by heart, I have read them so many times.. )
"Be still, and know that I am God"
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and no to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important that food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tonight I was cleaning out my Photo Booth pictures and couldn't believe how much my little men have changed in a matter of 2 years.. I guess looking at the old pictures made me realize how fast kids change and mature right under your nose without you even knowing it.. Remember when you would go to the grocery store or the mall and little ole' ladies would walk up to you and say " Cherish these times, Honey- they grow up fast" and if you were anything like me you'd kinda look at them and think to yourself " Are you CRAZY, do you know how tired I am, do you know how many diapers I have changed today, or how engorged my ta-ta's are??" Well I guess now I am understanding more of what those sweet little ole' ladies where trying to warn me about. When your in the moment of it all- it seems as if it will never end, and then when it does God has a funny way of making you miss those moments, Long for those moments, Want those never ending, long night, why did I think one more was a good idea moments back..
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
1. Jenifer 2. Fish n' Chips 3. Nowwhere 4. Bright Green 5. Matthew McConaughey 6. Green Tea 7. Somewhere Warm 8. Fresh Brownie 9. Virtuous Woman 10. Jesus 11. Giver 12. Boxer
Here's how it works:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLS for the images into hhtp://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php Choose 3 columns with 4 rows.
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What High School did you go to? (or what year did you graduate?)
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite Drink?
7. Dream Vacation?
8. Favorite Dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you?
12. Your flicker name or favorite animal?
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The Coast Guard calls this boat the Alex Haley, I prefer to call her the mistress. The mistress that is going to be taking the other half of me away for far longer than I would like. I am not really sure why I am having such a hard time with him leaving for the next 8 weeks. He's left for far longer than this before but it was also many years, two kids and one very needy dog lighter. Maybe it has to do with my health issues? Maybe the older I get, the more I realize that we aren't invisible, like we once thought we were. There are real dangers out there that could change our future in a heart beat. I guess the danger of Dale's job hit home with the crew that just lost their lives- not even on a deployment, but just doing routine training. All of those men had wives, and children that expected them to come home. As much as I feel and cry for those women who in a moment had their world flipped upside down I can't help but be selfishly thankful it wasn't Dale, it wasn't his crew. Which got me thinking- the security of him coming safely home from this deployment isn't solid. And it reminded me how little control I have over not just this upcoming deployment, but day to day life. Oh, how I have been miserably failing at letting go and letting God.