The Coast Guard calls this boat the Alex Haley, I prefer to call her the mistress. The mistress that is going to be taking the other half of me away for far longer than I would like. I am not really sure why I am having such a hard time with him leaving for the next 8 weeks. He's left for far longer than this before but it was also many years, two kids and one very needy dog lighter. Maybe it has to do with my health issues? Maybe the older I get, the more I realize that we aren't invisible, like we once thought we were. There are real dangers out there that could change our future in a heart beat. I guess the danger of Dale's job hit home with the crew that just lost their lives- not even on a deployment, but just doing routine training. All of those men had wives, and children that expected them to come home. As much as I feel and cry for those women who in a moment had their world flipped upside down I can't help but be selfishly thankful it wasn't Dale, it wasn't his crew. Which got me thinking- the security of him coming safely home from this deployment isn't solid. And it reminded me how little control I have over not just this upcoming deployment, but day to day life. Oh, how I have been miserably failing at letting go and letting God.