It's tradition in our family that you get to pick what you eat for the entire day. Shane went easy on me. He asked for Eggs, Bacon and Sausage for Breakfast, Donuts for Lunch, Dinner @ the Pizza Parlor, with Dirt and Worms and a Pinata for dessert. Dale... Well He had to go "needy" on me and ask for two very complicated items.. Actually he knew I wasn't feeling very well so bless his sweet heart- he requested a simple pasta dish with some type of banana dessert because our naner's were almost BLACK.
It was his 30th!!!
I was not about to cook blah!!! I took "pasta" and had to make a very complicated vegetarian lasagna. Along with a pumpkin cheesecake!! First time cooking either one of them and just about everything that could go wrong with the process did!!! Thank the Lord it all came out AMAZING! Never mind that 20 minutes after singing him Happy Birthday and making sure the kitchen was cleaned up I was in bed PASSED OUT.. Poor Guy.. At least I filled his belly full of goodness before ditchin' him. :)
So as many of you know, I have decided to take a FACEBOOK FAST for the month of Feb. Since the beginning of the month my nightstand book collection has grown from my journal, bible and devotional books to this...
<-------
I think next month I need to take a fast from AMAZON!!! My poor little night stand can't take much more.
The hard cold fact to this insane amount of books- I am actually reading all of them. A chapter from this one, a blurb from that one. I am even re-reading a couple.
So I decided to share my current reads and a mini review of what I like about each one. I am curious to see if you have read any of them as well. If you have anything to add like "STOP READING _______ because you are REALLY INSANE for reading over 13 books at one time and ______ is really not worth reading," I would much appreciate it.. :) Or if you are a big meanie and want to add to my reading list, go ahead.. My Amazon fast doesn't start for another 2 1/2 weeks!!!
Journal: I journal every night. Usually it's my prayer requests, or it's a scripture verse that I have read in my bible that spoke volumes for one reason or another- sometimes it's just a run down of my day. It's neat to go back and re-read entries and see how the Lord answered prayers, walked me through a time I thought was one of the worst moments EVER, sometimes giving me the occasional reminder of what I need to still pray for that He hasn't already worked out yet. I love to journal. And I am very thankful for one VERY special young woman, not mentioning names (LIBBY) for making it for me. :P
Holy Bible: Really what else can I say besides- I would be soooo very lost, bitter, and alone with out the Word Of God to inspire, encourage and rebuke my sinful self. If I am too tired to read anything else on my night stand I try to at least read one chapter out of the most important book laying next to my bed, the WORD!
Grace for the Moment:When my Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer I flew down from our last duty station so she could meet Ian, He was 2 1/2 months old. She was in so much pain, and Hospice kept her pretty well medicated, but one of my Aunts had brought over this book and left it. So I read it to my Grandmother every day while I was there. She would go on and on about how she could hear Jesus calling her home. Those moments were bittersweet, I selfishly wanted her to stay here with me on this earth but I knew Jesus was calling her home. Although Lucado has made other series to this devotion, I re-read this one every year. If there was a fire, this would be one of the things I would grab (besides my children, bible, photos, wedding ring, and dog) And NO that was not in particular order!
Jesus Calling: A devotion my mom bought me a couple years ago that I fell in love with. The author speaks her perception of particular verses- showing us how the word teaches us how to deal with day to day worldly struggles. It brings encouragement and humbleness, two things every one in this life should have.
LIP BALM:Yes, I know it's not a book. But it's part of my nightly routine. It rocks!
Nourishing Traditions: Just got this one a couple days ago and am still reading the first chapter. But the more I read the more I realize how much I DISLIKE THE FDA, USDA, and POLITICS!
Created To Be His Help Meet: I've had this in my Amazon shopping cart "Purchase Later" for over 4 years. And I finally broke down and bought it. This book is like a big fat steak, I have to take really small bites and chew thoroughly. :)
The Well Trained Mind:I flip through this one on nights that I have had a really ruff day homeschooling. Or I need to re-focus my planning, thinking, or direction. Great Resource for Homeschoolin' Mamas..
Creative Correction: Hilarious, makes you feel like you are not the only mom in the world with "issues" and she gives very helpful tips on creatively correcting in a God honoring way. :)
Shepherding a Child's Heart: This one I bought a while back and it's one that I keep passing over. I have read the first chapter, ummm, I am pretty sure 3 times now. I guess it's because I read "Don't make me count to Three" first and that book is kinda like the "How To" of this book.
Sacred Marriage: About four years ago I started reading this book out loud to Dale. Even though we have most likely read through it several times now, we still enjoy picking a chapter out here and there and reading it to each other. We have learned so much about how God designed a marriage to work through trial and error AND reading this book... If you are married did you know that you are married to God's son or daughter. Would you talk to God in the same manner you talk to your spouse? When I first read that line it was like a sock to the stomach and still is a very good reminder in how I am to treat God's son. Right above this book is the devotion. We usually read this in the morning together to start our day. We also read Devotions for Sacred Parenting.
From Belly Fat to Belly Flat: Seriously I just bought this book 2 days ago and I am on the last chapter. WEALTH of knowledge!!! It covers why we crave certain things, how our cells change as we age, how our hormones play a huge roll in getting a pot belly and most importantly how to fix the belly bump and maintain balance in our body. Also talks about poison food we put in our bodies that make our hormones go on the fritz.
Don't Make Me Count To Three: If I could afford it I would buy this book for every friend with children under the age of 18. I only wish I had read this years ago. Where were you then Stacy??? :P (She is the one who let me borrow it.) I had to go and buy my own copy so I could continue to go back and read it, highlight in it, and underline key points. Along with the Wise Words for Moms. AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING... Wait did I say AMAZING because seriously it is A M A Z I N G!!! If you don't own a copy, NO you can not borrow mine, you MUST go buy your own copy off Amazon RIGHT NOW!!! Stop reading. Seriously.. Go.. Buy.. It!!
A Boy No More: A book that Caleb and I read this past year during quiet time and now I am reading it again with Shane. I will most likely read it with Ian too. It's a great book to introduce your kids to Pearl Harbor. It gets them asking questions about History and that tragic day.
Kleenex Box: Removes the residue off my finger from my Burt's Bee lip balm, removes smudged eye makeup, boogers and tears... If you tear off little pieces- it stops the bleeding from the massive zit you said you were not going to squeeze one more time to just make sure you got all the puss out.. haha.. TMI?? Just tryin' to keep it real.. :P
A couple days ago Shane helped me make Zucchini "Poor Boy" Crab Cakes. He was very proud of his creation and even stated that when he grew up he was going to be a Professional Chef just like his Mama.. I am FAR from being a Professional, but I am flattered my sweet boy thinks of me that way..
Poor Boy Zucchini "Crab" Cakes
1 1/2 C. Shredded Zucchini (Patted Dry)
1 C. Bread Crumbs
2 Tbs. Chopped Onion
2 Tbs. Flour
1 Tbs. Mayo
1 tsp. Old Bay Seasoning
2 Eggs (Slightly Beaten)
Seasoning Salt or Salt & Pepper to taste
Olive Oil for Frying
Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Heat 1/2 inch of Olive Oil for frying in a pan set to med/high heat and drop rounded spoonfuls of mixture into oil, press down to make a patty with the back side of the spoon-
fry until light brown and crisp.
Serve with Tarter Sauce or Favorite Dipping Sauce.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! Created by MckMama
You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
This is a great way to show you that I am perfectly unperfect!!! I hope it makes you smile.
I did NOT go swim 20 laps at the pool at 6 o'clock this morning and then come home and eat 3 oreos and a piece of Mocha Choc. Silk Pie for breakfast...
I most certainly did NOT eat another 2 oreos for lunch, while I made sure the boys had a proper serving of fruit, dairy and grain.
I with out a doubt did NOT think eating nothing but Oreos for breakfast, lunch and dinner could possibly be the next fad Hollywood Diet.. Ohhh but don't I wish!!!
I did NOT start a load of wash, come upstairs set the timer to remind me to go switch it out, and then 50 mins later forget what the timer was for...
I did NOTseethe with envy wishing I could trade places with my husband at work knowing full well he got to slowly start his day with other adults draggin' cause it's MONDAY- while I had one child doing flips off the arm of the couch, one child jumping on the trampoline while trying to do his math, and one child secretly climbing on top of the fridge to get to the candy jar.. Ohhh No, that would NEVER happen in my house.. My children are well mannered polite boys that wake up with calm spirits, quietly eat their breakfast and eagerly ask to start their homeschooling for the day while I make bread, sing hymnals and knit all at the same time. :P
I got a message from one of my sweet friends.. I truly believe that she was lead by the Holy Spirit to share with me a link to Molly Piper's blog yesterday and I have been pouring through her posts ever since. She speaks my heart. I think she speaks every mothers heart that has ever lost a child.
If you have a chance, go to her page.. To the right side of her blog you will see "Popular Blog Series" and under that you will see "How to Help Your Grieving Friend" She speaks my heart.. http://ow.ly/ZAOn
Some do not understand because they have never experienced the loss of a child, either in the womb or out. Some do not understand that you can not compare this type of loss, because we all grieve differently. Some say things that hurt you deeply that on any other day would have been just fine to say, but just not that day. That moment. In that way. Some do not understand why I am taking this so hard. But the reality is, I don't understand either. This is our 4Th loss. The others hurt but not like this. Not this deep. I saw a yoke sac turn into a bean and that bean turn into a small outline of a baby, I saw and heard a beating heart, and then no more.
Yesterday the Boys and I watched the famous "I have a Dream" speech along with learning a bit more about Martin Luther King Jr's up bringing. It was great to learn together about the man behind the famous name and famous speech.
Some days are calm and as smooth as glass, and then there are days where the undertow sucks me down under- too deep to see which way is up. As I finally find my way, I get pulled under again, not able to catch my breath.. I start to panic, desperately grasping for anything to pull me back up, and then a quiet voice whispers to me-
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters ... they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God" (Isaiah 43:1-3)"
Trying to handle this life on our own, without His guidance, grace and comfort will ALWAYS leave us feeling overwhelmed.. Like a itty bitty minnow trying to swim away from the great white sharks. But the amazing thing is that we don't have to feel that way. Our moments don't have to be in our own effort.. That was never His design.. And that is exactly why it is sooooo important to etch the word of God onto our hearts. To have scripture on the forefront on our minds..
I started reading a book called "Putting On a Gentle & Quiet Spirit" By: Elizabeth George and I came across this-
"as we put on God's gentle and quiet spirit and rely on the Lord instead of our human efforts and emotions, as we wait on Him to make sense and use of our suffering times, then indeed we have much to show in the end. Every time we endure hard times, we prove that the glory of the Lord is truly revealed in the end. As the psalmist declared,
"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man [or woman] who trusts in Him! Psalm 34:8"
Thank You Lord for providing me with a Life Jacket.
So I haven't blogged in a while. Hope ya'll can understand. :) December was AMAZING. Dale surprised me with a GIRLS TRIP to Hawaii with one of my very close girlfriends, which was MUCH NEEDED and soooo very much appreciated.. Nov. and Dec. we had a lot of time just hangin' out as a family.. Even though the pain from loosing the baby comes in waves, and is still very raw at times, I give thanks.. Going through the last couple months has helped pull our family back together tighter than ever before. Don't get me wrong, I miss hanging out with friends, but at the same time I have SOOO been enjoying just being US. :) Well enough about all that.. This is a NEW YEAR with NEW BEGINNINGS!!! Yay! And one of my goals for this year is to write a blog every week... So here goes week one!
On a side note-
A local Coastie's Wife and AMAZING photographer is giving away a FREE photo shoot.
I don't want to hear "I'm so sorry for your loss." I don't want the "thinking of you during this difficult time." I don't want to be reminded that God works all things to good. I don't want to hear "if there is anything I can do, just let me know." Because the only thing I want, the only thing that can fix THIS can't be fixed. I don't want a hug, some flowers, a card. I want a beating heart back in my lifeless baby's body.
I want to rip my clothes from my body in a fit of rage, I want to cover my head in ash and go into the desert and water the dry ground with the river of tears flowing from my eyes. I want to put my head through a wall. I want to run until my legs give out. I want to be NUMB. I want to know why. I want to know if that sweet baby was a boy or a girl. I want to give a name to the lifeless body I saw on that ultrasound screen. I want to count how many toes and how many fingers. I want to know why a heart beat so strong just stops. Why one minute there is life and the next there is not. I want to go to Heaven right now and cradle and kiss not just this baby but the 3 others I have lost over the years.
Lord do you HEAR ME!!!!!!!!!
As I lay here in my bed, typing this out I close my eyes briefly and I see the last image up on that ultrasound screen. In fact every time I close my eyes that's what I see. It wasn't a blob, or a peanut.. It was a baby. With arms, and legs, and a little face. So still. The heart monitor flat lining across the screen. I start to weep. And bury my face in my hands, because I can not stare one moment longer at that screen. The doctor and the tech talk for a few moments while still scanning my womb. It's all jumbled, I can't process anything. The tech finally taps my leg and tells me I can go to the bathroom and get dressed, and as I shut the door I fall to the cold sterile floor and weep some more. The only other time I ever remember weeping like this is when I walked into my Grandmothers house , went into her bedroom and laid where I had last seen her alive. This must have been the way Jesus wept. The sorrow is so deep, and consuming.
I gain composure and walk out into the exam room, Dale asks me if I want a hug. The nurse asks me if I want a glass of water. Tears start flowing at a steady pace again, I shake my head and say "A hug, A glass of water?? Will it put a beating heart back in my dead baby?" I know they are just trying to comfort me, but nothing in this world can comfort my brokenness right now. Don't touch me, don't talk to me, just don't.
After a long and silent car right home, my deep sorrow turns to anger when I walk through the front door. I rip the previous ultrasound pictures down off the fridge and shove them as deep as they can go into the trash can. I can barely see through the blur of falling tears as I stumble towards my bedroom. Dale tries to follow as I push him back and shut the door screaming "Just leave me alone!" One by one I take my shoes off and throw them across the room, before falling face first onto my bed. "This is my lot Lord?" I don't want it. Take me home now Lord.
Then I am reminded that this is just the beginning of a horrible horrible nightmare. That lifeless baby is still inside of me. I start to panic thinking of having to go through all the labor pains and seeing all the blood and possibly my sweet baby's body. I've done this 3 times before. At this exact moment I am too weak, to compromised by grief. I want to die. I start thinking about what will end my life the fastest. I start thinking about how killing myself would be easier than confronting what I know will soon be coming if I choose to live. Dale is gone picking the boys up from the sitter. The house is empty and I am alone. I start to get up to make my way to the medicine cabinet and I see the sweet Mother's Day gift Shane made for me 4 years ago in preschool sitting on my dresser. I see a book laying on my night stand that Caleb and I have been reading together over the past couple weeks. I open my door and see a string of clothing left behind by my 5 year old that can't seem to put his dirty clothes in the hamper. I am reminded of the 3 beautiful miracles God has blessed me with. The ones that get to be my angels on earth. And I start to repeat "Taking my life is stupid, and selfish." "It's stupid." "It's STUPID!" God intervenes on my behalf and removes all the horrible tempting thoughts Satan is trying to flood my mind with. He shined His light in a very dark moment. I didn't ask Him to, He just did. Because I am His child. And His promises are ever-lasting.
I decide to call my friend Heather. She's miscarried before. She won't try to comfort me, she'll weep with me. Because she remembers her dark moments. She remembers that nothing in this world besides time can take away the pain. I share with her my thoughts and we just weep together. After a long time of weeping with laughter mixed in between, the thoughts of not living any more have passed but I am still broken. Dale comes in as if he knew my previous thoughts. God whispers in my ear, "he is grieving too." I hang up the phone with Heather and share with Dale what he already somehow knew. We both weep together. There is no talk of what is to come. We are just trying to get through this moment. He says we need to tell the boys. They all come in and pile around me on the bed. My body buried under the blankets, my hand covering my face. I can not form a single word. So Dale explains that the baby's heart stopped beating. Sadly my boys have been down this road before. Caleb says, "So it's dead, right Dad." Shane's eyes water up and he says "No, God can make the heart start beating again, can't He Daddy." Ian is silent. Dale explains that yes God could preform a miracle but he thinks God needed this baby to be an angel in Heaven more. Dale tells each of the boys to gently give me a kiss on the forehead and go play quietly in the living room. Shane cuddles up next to me and softly strokes my hand. Whispering that he loves me and is sorry to see me so sad. I can't breathe. I can't speak. I can't move my hand away from my eyes to look into my child's eyes. I just nod my head and Dale calls him out of the room.
I am not writing this for you all to feel sorry for me. I am writing this to validate my feelings as being REAL. As RAW as it gets. I am writing this for me. Maybe some of you have faced tragedy of some sort before and can understand my thoughts and feelings. And maybe some of you are shocked to read that for a brief moment I considered taking my own life. Maybe this is the beginning of the healing process. Maybe someday this will help someone else get through a tough time and realize that they are not loosing their mind, they are just grieving. It's OK to shake your fist in anger. It's OK to fall to the floor and weep. It's OK to be transparent with God and those around you. Am I OK? Not in the least bit. Will I be with time, I know I will.
Do I have a journey before me, you bet I do. Am I un-stable? No, just shaken.
Do I question God's grace and love to carry me through this? Not for a moment, I am His Child.
"God's faithfulness has never depended on the faithfulness of his children. He is faithful even when we aren't. When we lack courage, he doesn't. He has made a history out of using people in spite of people. Need an example? The feeding of the five thousand. It's the only miracle, aside from those of the final week, recorded in all four Gospels. Why did all four writers think it worth repeating? ... Perhaps they wanted to show how God doesn't give up even when his people do... When the disciples didn't pray, Jesus prayed. When the disciples didn't see God, Jesus sought God. When the disciples were weak, Jesus was strong. When the disciples had no faith, Jesus had faith. I simply think God is greater than our weakness. In fact, I think it is our weakness that reveals how great God is...."
is what my little man turned this past month. One night as I was putting him to bed we started talking about what he wanted to do for his birthday. I gave him the option to have a party with friends or have just a family party. After a long pause this is how the rest of the conversation went.
Ian: "I just want one with my family, Momma."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Ian: "Yep, I'm sure.. That way I won't have to share"
Me: "Share what?"
Ian: "Taking turns with the stick, being crowded and being pushed"
Me: **look of confusion** followed by "Ohhh, You want a Pinata..."
Ian: "Yeah, and if I have a party with my friends they will be pushy and I won't get as many turns whacking it, and then they will all be pushing and grabbing the candy, but if it's just my brothers they will have to share with me, because you'll make them."
I was reading this morning in a devotion "Devotions for Sacred Parenting" and came across this little burb from another book "Pensees" and thought I would share-
" Let each of us examine his thoughts; he will find them wholly concerned with the past and or the future. We almost never think of the present, and if we do think of it, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future. The present is never our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live, and since we are always planning how to be happy, it is inevitable that we should never be so."
Why is it that we get so wrapped up in the daily routine that we forget to truly LIVE.. I am not talking about breathing, walking, talking... I am talking about having a water fight in the kitchen and not worrying about how much of a mess it's going to make, letting the kids stay up a little later to finish putting together a puzzle. The small things. The things that get so easily over looked, because we are assuming there will be more time later.. Maybe that little excerpt spoke a little deeper because I am getting older? Or maybe I am finally grasping the idea that we don't know our future, and we should stop assuming we have some type of control over it. It's a waste of time and effort and creates resentment, frustration, and regret.. I don't want to be sitting in my house 20 years from now regretting all the moments I missed with my boys because I occupied my time with things that didn't really matter in the end.
(remember to pause the music at the bottom of my page before playing)
1. I've come to realize that my.... husband loves me regardless of my MANY flaws..
2. I've come to realize that my.... circumstances don't have to rule me.
3. I've come to realize that when... the Holy Spirit speaks- LISTEN!!!
4. I've come to realize that I need..... to cherish EACH day, and stop assuming there will be a tomorrow..
5. I've come to realize that I have lost... my ab muscles and they are NEVER coming back!
6. I have come to realize that I hate it when... people put God in a box..
7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk... I'll still be feelin' it in the morning. STUPID!!!
8. I've come to realize that money... can never buy you lasting contentment- but Jesus can!
9. I've come to realize that certain people... will NEVER understand how much I HATE talking on the phone.
10. I've come to realize that I'll always ... wonder what might have been.
11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)... and I don't have the close relationship I long to have with them
12. I've come to realize that my mom... is who I have become more and more like over the years and it's not such a bad thing after all.. She is a SURVIVOR, ROLE MODEL and one of my BEST FRIENDS!
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone... is not machine washable..
14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning... I reallllly wanted to crawl back in bed..
15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep... I was getting to bed WAY to late and would be feelin' it in the morning..
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking... I have spent too much time on this and should have been in bed 2 hours ago..
17. I've come to realize that my dad ... is an AMAZING man of God, great role model for my husband, my boys and myself. And that he loves me unconditionally..
18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...I stay on too long
19. I've come to realize that today... it never did stop raining but we fished our little hearts out anyway..
20. I've come to realize that tonight... is already today.. Good Morning..
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow... is never certain. But it's always good to be prepared.
22. I've come to realize that I really want to... hear well done good and faithful servant when I go home.
23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to reposnd this is... a SUCKER just like me.. And I am kinda shocked that your still reading my randomness..
24. I've come to realize that life... is all about the choices you make.
25. I've come to realize this weekend... was over too soon.
26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset... is either country if I really want to have a pity party or Christian to restore my joy.
27. I've come to realize that my friends... stretch me, encourage me, love me, disappoint me, surprise me, and no matter what- are there for me regardless the weather.
28. I've come to realize that this year... I have laid more at His feet than the year before.
29. I've come to realize that my ex... was a stepping stone I should have just hopped over.
30. I've come to realize that maybe I should... set a timer for myself when I get on Facebook!
31. I've come to realize that I love... my life. my God. my story.
32. I've come to realize that I don't understand... why so many in this world choose hate over love.
33. I've come to realize that my past.....put me where I am today
34. I've come to realize that parties... usually mean LARGE MESSES..
35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified of... how TIRED I am going to be in the morning after doing this...
36. I've come to realize that my life.... is a reflection of the choices I make- and the legacy I leave behind for my children.
I'm sure I am missing a few things in between but in a nutshell we have- gone to Fossil Beach and Roslin with the BEST neighbors ever, went up Pillar with Lib, had a water balloon fight, went to Jewel Beach, Ian learned how to ride a 2 wheeler, played a parents vs. kids game of soccer and Shane got his award and trophy, took Libby to see the float planes, went to Roslin with GREAT friends, went to Fort Abercrombie where I professed my love for the better half of me, and Libby and I hiked to the top of Barometer- all since Daddy went sailing.. Staying busy makes the days seem shorter but it still doesn't take away how much we're missing a certain someone..
Where does it go? And is there a way to stall it, stop it, reverse it, change it, or just simply embrace it? Seems like just yesterday our youngest was getting into anything and everything.
My baby isn't a baby any more..
Today he officially conquered riding a bike without training wheels.
It was a moment where I felt so proud of him. Ecstatic that he was finally able to do something he has been fearing but longing to do for so long now and in that same moment, I was sad. Because I knew this is just one step closer to independence- not needing or relying on me. Sure I know I should be happy about this milestone and I truly am but at the same time I am greatly missing those comet spilling moments too.
He kept saying the first couple tries something we taught all the boys to say when they feel fearful or unsure of themselves..
" I can do all things, through Christ, who strengthens me"
Philippians 4:13
Lord, Let those words be something more than just a memorized verse, allow that verse and many others to penetrate deep into my sons' souls. Let them believe in you and what you are capable of doing through them whole heartedly. May they never loose their childlike faith in you. Regardless of where this crazy thing we call life takes them, let them always cling to your truths and your word. May they always know that there will never be a moment in their life where they won't need your hand to guide them. Help me Lord learn how to embrace these new milestones, and cherish the ones I am walking through now. Thank You for giving my little guy the courage and the endurance to persevere today. Thank You that I was there with him, able to see him call out to you for help. May all of our children come to you regardless of their worldly surrounding, and cry out when they are troubled. Thank You for the hedge of protection you placed over my child today. Thank You that you heard his cry and delivered him into VICTORY.. Thank You Lord that I have so many things to be thankful for even in the simple things, like learning how to ride a bike.
So I am a bit behind on the updates.. Considering that Easter was almost 3 weeks ago. But I'm posting now so don't give me any grief.. ;)
On Easter, the boys and I made Resurrection Cookies. We have been making them for the past 5 years now, so I guess it's become a tradition...
It's a super simple recipe, if you want it let me know and I will email it to you.
We also went to Church, went to Brunch with the neighbors at the Galley, and came home and relaxed a bit before going over to our friends house to have a Easter Egg Hunt in 3+ feet of snow.. Never thought I would be typing out that sentence.. Still not sure if I am even OK with typing out that sentence.. I mean, 3+ feet of SNOW on Easter? Hmm.. Just doesn't seem right!
(I think this was right before he sunk in to his neck. :P)
And then of course when you get fresh powder, a day off of work and beautiful weather, it means the husband(s) are gonna ask to go play, even on Easter.. So the wives and chitlins stayed behind and Dale and the other husbands hiked up Pyramid Mountain and had a good ride down snowboarding.
(Dale's the second blur)
And I am happy to report that now that it has taken me almost 3 weeks to post what we did for Easter, I can include a very SPECTACULAR, RARE OCCURANCE of the SUN COMING OUT..
Yes, Folks the sun came out for a moment.. I mean a brief moment, longer than a blink but shorter than a yawn and I was smart enough to capture it on film, so when it rains/snows/sleets for the next 2 YEARS, I can pull it out, caress it, long for it, and remember it did grace us with it's presences on very rare occasions. :P
By: Jo Dee Messina Have you heard it? I have replayed it at least 4 times in the last 30 minutes- trying to muster up a tear.
I am tired.. And when I get overly tired I get overly emotional, and tonight is just one of those nights. Do you ever have a moment where you think to yourself "If I just had a big fat cry session, I would feel better" and then for some reason, no matter how hard you try, no matter how many sad and depressing things that you conjure up in your head YOU CAN'T shed one single tear! So maybe you never actually sit there and purposely think of really sad things, but at least I'm being real in my dilemma...
As I sit here, trying to cry- thinking of something worthy of your attention to blog about I can't help but to reflect upon the words in the song that is now playing for the umm, I'm pretty sure the 6th time now..
Third line into the song it says-
Sometimes I'd like to hide away, somewhere and lock the door
Before we moved here, I had a walk in closet. And when I was having a "sometimes" moment I would go into the closet, using my only worn once bridesmaid dresses to "hide" behind.. It was really the perfect spot. Dale and the kids would come looking for me, open the closet door, flick on the light and I would go unnoticed and able to continue in my pity party, table for 1 please..
That line got me thinking about how no matter how hard we try, no matter how big our closet, how long our bridesmaid dress or strong of a lock we may have, we can never, ever hide from our Heavenly Father. He knows our heart.
My Heart.
And all those moments where I thought I was hiding from my circumstances, I have come to realize are missed moments... Because really I wasn't hiding anything, I was growing closer to God by being completely transparent with Him. I would cry out to Him, Yell at Him, or just simply "Be Still" and you know, I may have walked out of that closet with my eyes a little puffier, and my head hanging a little lower, but I was able to let it all out. I laid it all at my Messiah's feet.
We have been here almost a full year and I still have yet to find my hiding spot, but I now realize the importance of having a spot. So my question to you is-
"Where is it that you cry out- Bring on the rain?"
(remember to pause the music @ the bottom of my page before viewing)
What is it again? It's been so long since I had any I have forgotten exactly what it is..
Is it something I am suppose to have to use against:
my time on the internet??
Food??
Homeschooling??
My Tongue??
I seriously have no idea where it went.. How it went.. And if it ever plans on returning.. Maybe I should write it a letter or better yet an email... Do a search for it on Facebook? Hmmm..
I think the last time the boys got their hair cut was before Christmas.. Things have been so crazy busy around here with snow days, homeschooling, dentists appointments, the flu, my back going out, and a handful of other things that I really didn't realize how out of control it was until one night after they all had a shower and decided to spike it up..
I usually cut all of their hair along with the neighbor boys but today I was just not in the mood to wear the "Hair Stylist" hat..
So off to the Barber we went..
(they all got to pick out colored hair gel to spike up the front)
In fact after taking them all to the barber, I think I might just throw that "stylist" hat out the window and let the wicked Kodiak wind take it to Russia.. (cause' I can see it from my front window ya' know) *wink* *wink*
Is it really already March? Do you know what this means!!!! We have been here almost ONE FULL YEAR!!! (picture me doing the happy dance) This means we only have 2 years LEFT!!!! How is it- that things can pass so quickly, but at the same time feel like they have taken forever to get through? Don't get me wrong, Kodiak and I have this whole love/hate relationship going on.. Most days I am awestruck at the beauty of it all and thanking God for the opportunity to live here, and then some days I think "I need to contact Nasa and explain to them that there is a BLACK HOLE here on earth and it's called Kodiak."
But really that is soooo NOT what this blog is about.. This blog is to update you on all the things that have taken place in the last month or so.
So I will start with-
Seeing The Dentist
I missed my oppurtunity to get a shot of "Moe" and the hip 80's inspired shades..
However, "Moe" and I did fly over to Anchorage to see the Orthodontist a couple weeks after visiting the dentist and he got BRACES!
(only on the top row)
and of course we got some more snow..
Ohhh, did I mention we got some snow? Then we had a string of birthdays.. Tradition in our house is to let who ever is having the birthday pick out whatever they want for dinner and what ever type of cake they want as well..
First Came "Curly's".. He turned SEVEN! (and had the flu)
He requested ABC soup and Strawberry Pizza..
Then 2 days later-
Daddy turned the BIG 2-9!!!
He requested Whiskey Marinaded Steak and "Better than Pumpkin Pie" cake..
2 weeks later-
"Moe" turned NINE!!!
He requested Homemade Mac and Cheese and a Huge Chocolate Chip Cookie with Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream..
And now that I have been collectively adding to this post for the past 3 weeks.. I think I will finally post it so you all can see that we are very much well and happy.. And a few of us are now a year older... Wiser is questionable... :P
